E. Pritchard (rubyslippers01) wrote in after_silence,
E. Pritchard
rubyslippers01
after_silence

Speak

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Where do I begin?
How can I describe a circle?

Today creeps in, just as the one before it & I’m sorting through the words again, some fall like snow gently calling me, others swirl around & bang against the inside of my skull.

I pick them up & every time they near the surface they surprise me.

I don’t understand this word

TRUST

This word is an old friend

HURT

This word was not here yesterday

ANGER

This word has grown into a monster

SECRETS

& here, all that is left of these words are their initials.

My mouth tries to frame the sounds these words carry but my lips are too dry & my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth yet this morning I ran to my mountain to survey the kingdom of my inaccessible sentences.

So maybe that’s where I begin, the individual who seeks acceptance & finds comfort in linier narrative.
Once upon a time to happily ever after; but this doesn’t work like that; time is not on my side no matter how the expression goes.

The darkness will hear it first; my dreams have seen it so many times before.
Like discovering my own fairytale I will watch my mouth move & know that in that moment my belief in someone will be shattered.
My whole body will shake with the tears as I breathe in - breathe out.
I will collapse into them & find them around me holding tiny lights.
I will recognize the shapes of the thousands of people who have walked this path before me, midwives still bearing new life in their empty hands; & under their gracious hand holds I will come to understand the light & find comfort in their footsteps.

A bubble floats to the surface & explodes, is this a rain drop, a tear or an ocean?
It becomes increasingly hard to tell.

I look out over the dawning sky & let her & so many others before her go.

This word is the future –

Speak.
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